Every .5 Counts

Remember in my previous post where I was ranting about how stressful third year was? Well, it finally caught up with me. Yesterday, I found out that I failed a subject by .5 points… that’s .5 worth of new block mates, a new year, and a new obstacle. I have never failed anything ever when it comes to academics so it was definitely something that hurt me a lot. I was even telling my best friend that this hurt more that any break-up I could ever have haha. I talked to my professor about it and he said that he would double-check my grades for me but I started to lose the one quality I took most pride in – strength. With my strength, I was able to be there for others and be the strong one when they were weak. With that same strength, I was able to pull out a rainbow when people were going through storms. Because of this point five madness, I’ve lost that strength and I wondered, who would be strong for me this time?

With all honesty (and I’m not trying to sound cheesy), no one can really help me this time but God. I turned to Him for prayer, asked for guidance, and I looked for that strength I used to have in me. I’ll be having my Spiritual Guidance soon, which I haven’t had in over 6 months now, so I’m really glad we’re having a long semestral break this year. My parents and other relatives have also been so supportive of me and were very encouraging (that made me cry so much more) so I guess I need to build myself back up again. Wow, I think I’ve said that line so many times in this past year already. Damn, I’m so unlucky. Haha. On a serious note though, I don’t blame anyone but myself for what happened. I pulled my other subjects higher, and most of them were much higher than what I expected, that I failed to pull this one subject up. I guess this is a blessing because the universe knows how burned out I already am haha.

To all my PT batchmates, bye! Lol. My reaction is so inappropriate but seriously though, make me proud! I wish I knew each one of you more and got to spend time with you. I heard that the second semester will be more intense but you just have to focus AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, TREAT EVERY SUBJECT EQUALLY. Always pray to God and thank Him for your blessings. If you feel tired as well, please power nap then power through. If you fail, don’t think of it as the end of the world. Trust me; I know. I’ll see you in your graduation! I’ll be the crazy and loud girl at the back screaming her head off because she’s so proud. I love you guys x

P.S. I have deactivated and will be on a hiatus on Facebook, Twitter, Viber and Snapchat. Will be back when I feel like it haha. I need to be the description of this girl again, and when I do, you’ll hear from me soon – “She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad. And that’s important.” -Marilyn Monroe

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There We Have It

WOAH.

That was my first reaction when I clicked on the ‘New Post’ button because a lot of things have changed since my last post, apparently, including WordPress. But don’t get me wrong; change is good! It’s been exactly a semester and my lack of, or completely missing, posts indicate how busy my schedule has been. From all-nighters in reviewing for the next quiz (after quiz, after quiz, after test, after test) to org duties (and sacrificing some… details later), I barely had any time for my occasional R&Rs, which some of you might know is a must for me to keep my sanity.

I really tried my best to squeeze in some time to drive away from the hustle and bustle of a Physical Therapy student’s life. I love my course and the people in it who have inspired me or have made it a little less crazy, but third year is no joke. There would be times when I’d grab that iced coffee in the refrigerator, try my best to stay awake, but still head bang then cry because I was already too sleepy to function. There would also be times when I’d have to put studying for Physiology on hold just so I could study for Anatomy. Juggling all those subjects and dealing with their difficulty really stressed me out. This semester, I learned a lot about sacrificing some things in order to make way for something else to bloom. This does not only apply to studies, but it also applies to hobbies and relationships as well.

This semester, I also had to give up dancing due to my Editor-in-Chief duties. It was really hard to see my other orgmates performing while I was on the sidelines taking pictures. I had to run so many errands during college events that I gave up time for training, which I also consider as time for myself. Another thing I had to sacrifice earlier in the semester was a really close friend. It was difficult for me at first because I didn’t understand the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of what was going on. I was completely left in the dark, but I was eventually enlightened when I learned the truth… the whole truth. I’ll spare you guys the dramatic details of that story but basically, it became so much easier for me to let my friend go for their relationship to grow. A chance to love and be loved is a blessing, and I wouldn’t want to hold anyone back from it. I know that in the end, giving up our friendship will be worth it because love, or even the slightest opportunity of experiencing it, is worth it.

There we have it – a semester full of stress, change, and sacrifices. More updates soon x